4H’s Part 3: Humour Helps
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If you have read parts 1 and 2, you will know the value of doing no harm, and of approaching life with humility. My 3rd key value is humour.
Humour and humility go hand in hand. In socially awkward situations, times of tension and even conflict, a dose of well-timed humour can help to diffuse negative sentiments.
Humour can help to forge human connections, even in the face of acrimony. And there is no better stress reliever than a good belly laugh, preferably shared with others.
I think to a recent time of collaborating with a colleague to determine how best to incorporate data on race within a project. It was during the heated summer of 2020 when racial tensions in the US and Canada were at a high in the aftermath of the killings of Black people and Indigenous peoples at the hands of police.
The struggle is real
Black Lives Matters and other anti-oppression movements throughout the globe and here in Canada were responding in solidarity and with justifiable outrage.
New language and terminology (e.g. Black, Indigenous and other People of Colour (BIPOC)) were coming to the fore. People of conscience across the colour spectrum were feeling pain, anger, and a sense of inadequacy on how to make a meaningful difference and what to do with raw emotions and the injustice of it all.
My colleague and I felt compelled to ensure that we have better ways of understanding the racial identities of the clients who our work is intended to serve.
We were committed to ensuring that accurate information is compiled and acted upon concerning those for whom our policies and programs are designed, since policies and programs that purport to be colour-blind and neutral (i.e. that are designed from a white vantage point) can do more harm than good.
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No easy answers
We were struggling
What was the correct terminology?
What does it mean when we compile an extensive list of the various names and groupings by which we categorize people based on the colour of their skin and other arbitrary and identifiable characteristics?
How should Indigeneity be reflected in our analysis?
How could we ensure that people, such as my kids, who identify as being mixed race or bi-racial have a way to see their identities reflected?
This was weighty stuff. Yet as we struggled, we eventually found ourselves chucking at the absurdity of our situation. We recognized that in our quest to be perfect we were tying ourselves in knots and arguing and counter-arguing with ourselves and impeding our ability to move forward.
Of course, we were never going to get things entirely perfect: life is messy, and mistakes are made in the pursuit of excellence.
But mistakes become the building blocks on which future progress is grounded.
A little kindness goes a long way
Once we were able to treat ourselves with kindness this gave us room to think creatively. We were by no means minimizing the gravity of the work that we were undertaking. But addressing serious social issues while treating ourselves and each other with the same empathy and tenderness that we wish all human beings to be treated with was key to getting us unblocked and moving forward in a positive direction.
Humour is a loving co-companion to humility; when we can find humour in our own foibles. Learning to lighten up, to go easy on ourselves, and to treat ourselves and others with kindness and compassion can go a long way.
There are enough forces operating against us, whether they be looming deadlines, financial pressures, interpersonal conflict, illness, and the injustices in the world. So we need to stop beating up ourselves and those around us and to instead find a dose of kindness.
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The shared experience of humour
Learning that we can laugh at ourselves is a good thing. It tells us that we’re doing ok in the grand scheme of things and that we are worthy of being treated gently and with kindness. If we can work toward environments where kind-spirited laughter at ourselves and in community with others is our modus operandi, think of how much lighter our burdens are to bear.
What better way to break down the us and them divide and to communicate our common humanity than to laugh together, especially when times are tough.
And the tougher the times, the greater the importance of having a big heart and of extending your heart to others as you will read about in part 4.